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I Stepped AwayJump to section titled I Stepped Away

October 31, 2025

Growth doesn't always mean moving forward — sometimes it means standing still, or stepping back, or choosing a different path entirely.

Earlier this year, I stepped away from a management role. Not because I was failing at it—by most measures, things were going well. The team was healthy, the work was shipping, the feedback was positive.

I stepped away because I missed building.

The Gradual DriftJump to section titled The Gradual Drift

It happens slowly. At first, management feels like an extension of engineering. You're still solving problems, just different ones. People problems. Process problems. Problems that require empathy and patience rather than algorithms and architecture.

Then one day you realize: you can't remember the last time you read a research paper for fun. The last time you prototyped something just to see if it would work. The last time you felt that particular joy of making something new exist in the world.

The work you're doing is valuable. It matters. But it's not the work that makes you come alive.

Permission to ChangeJump to section titled Permission to Change

I'd internalized a story about career progression: individual contributor → manager → senior manager → and so on. Moving "backward" felt like failure.

What helped was reframing the question. Not "am I progressing?" but "am I learning?" Not "what's the next level?" but "what do I want to be great at?"

I want to be great at building AI systems. Management was teaching me adjacent skills—communication, coordination, empathy—but it wasn't teaching me what I most wanted to learn.

The ReturnJump to section titled The Return

Coming back to individual contribution felt like stretching muscles I'd almost forgotten I had. The first few months were humbling. Tools had changed. Patterns had evolved. I was rusty.

But also: the problems were fascinating. The learning curve was steep. And every day, I got to make things.

For Others ConsideringJump to section titled For Others Considering

If you're a manager wondering whether to stay or go:

  • There's no universal right answer. Some people thrive in leadership roles. Others do their best work as individual contributors. Both are legitimate paths.

  • Temporary detours are okay. Trying management doesn't mean staying forever. You learn things in the role that transfer back if you choose to return.

  • Listen to your energy. Not your productivity—your energy. What kinds of work leave you depleted? What kinds leave you wanting more?

I don't know if I'll manage again someday. Maybe. For now, I'm happy tending my corner of the garden, building things that didn't exist before.

Part of my ongoing experiment in learning in public.

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